Thursday, July 28, 2011

Shaky Ground With Darkness Beneath

The seemingly most super fine and dandy functional family one could imagine, on holiday, smiling faces, enjoying the home, going for walks, to the park, la la la and on and on, and yet this shriek comes from the depths of the pit of Overwhelm: 'We find ourselves in the darkest and most dysfunctional circumstances at times, sometimes I ask myself how and why this is happening, it is as if a force larger and more powerful than I can understand is playing out...' and my entire being wants to respond and is pretty much mute. By the enormity. By the universality. This subject of that universal underlying shaky ground floating above a darkness unfathomable, where does this come from? Is this the nature of things?
..and then the socially prevailing diagnosticians arrive on the scene, and the curtain somehow goes down upon all rhyme and reason...and we are off and running on their agenda...
This was foremost on my mind all morning, before I had received the letter from which I just quoted, this subject of from whence this primal shake rattle and roll which disturbs the equilibrium of our spirit...and I figured something as simple as this: We are born within a mortal frame and possess within us the reality itself, of immortality, not the idea but the reality. This is unbearably heavy stress without efficient assistance.
And assistance is available absolutely nowhere in this world.
You can turn to no one on earth for assistance.

I keep a mighty arsenal of tools polished by use, everyday use, my darkness is so vast that I require a great arsenal of weaponry to face the enemy forces.

As to your 'force larger and more powerful than I can understand' - yes, I believe we are in a sometimes largely calculated midst of co-mingled forces - I think your most pressing requirement at this moment is to find your very own meditation and to practice daily without fail, knowing it possesses eternal value and will bring you returns on your investment.

Please direct your conversation, which would be most welcome, in a comment: Thank you.


  1. Wayne,
    I just tweeted you about this but I thought I would add my reaction here as well since this is easier to keep track of - much harder to just disappear into never-never land.

    I am blown away at reading this post, especially since you tweeted it to me just as I was hitting rock-bottom as a mom at home with my daughter. My husband has been out of town for days now and I am thoroughly exhausted and have run out of good mommy-ness. I so dislike being put in this position - I feel completely helpless and out of my element. Give me the hardest piece on piano that you can imagine - no problem! But hand me my own daughter, my own flesh and blood, and I'm a fumbling, bumbling, sometimes irate, critical fool. Anyway, probably more than you wanted to know.

    But the words you quoted above, about a "force larger and more powerful than I can understand," reminded me of a universal truth that I need to pull out and hang right in front of my nose right now. It is so easy to forget. And your post reminded me that I don't have to be helpless even though at these times it feels as if that's the only thing I can be.

    So thanks to your post, I'm going to pull myself up by the boot-straps and find away to meditate myself out of this nasty pit...until my husband gets home, that is!

    Many, many thanks, Wayne, as always.

    With my respect,

  2. Dear Earica -
    Well, I guess, here we are, right here in the midst of things. When I wrote that blogpost I felt it was perhaps a harsh response to a De Profundis Clamavit but I tried to come up with the truth that I required for myself.
    p.s. It is good to know that my voice is not falling upon the wind. Thank you.

  3. Thank you so much for this post! Your words are always appreciated. The world is better because you are here-- helping so much in so many ways.

  4. Dear Tina
    Thank you for your words which are sweet sounds in my ear...

  5. Hi Wayne,
    I am that person who walked into the dark forest alone a long time ago. It was quiet, and fascinating, and a lot was lost. But there is nothing like darkness to evoke a love and longing for the light.

    Your nusic and writing are part of that light.